Pro-choice, not 'pro-abortion'...

Abortion. Even the word instantly gets people’s backs up. I’ve been dragged into a few debates about this of recent times, due to the American elections and our own dear politicians making it clear that it’s time to rake over existing policies again, and my head hurts. Beloved TV reality star Nadine Dorries (of previous Tory fame), explained one of her reasons for her bold move of destroying her political credibility by appearing on Britain’s answer to Tekeshi’s castle, was so she could promote her views on lowering the abortion cut off point. I personally find all Tory policies much more credible when they are delivered with a mouthful of wallaby scrotum, but that’s just me. Maybe Mitt Romney would have won the US election if he’d tried something similar. Now there’s a thought.

The debate about abortion is sensitive because opinions are personal, and sometimes have nothing to do with the profile of a person’s political, religious or ethical standpoint. And yet it is constantly a topic for political point scoring. Abortion should not be a political discussion, but a medical and social one. Yet it is used as a party-political weapon for the simple fact that the topic is so rousing. I have heard of cases where people use a politician’s standpoint on abortion as their main reason for voting, even when they politically lean the other way (both pro and against). That is insane!

Whenever I hear politicians debating abortion I always think of the episode of The Simpsons where the aliens Kang and Kodos take over the American presidential candidates’ bodies and are having a debate:

Kang: (as Bob Dole) Abortions for all!
(Crowd boos)
Kang: Very well, no abortions for anyone!
(Crowd boos again)
Kang: Hmm... abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!
(Crowd cheers and waves miniature flags.)

Pretty much sums it up.

Contrary to what is perceived, there is no hard-line profile of a 'pro-lifer' or 'pro-choicer'. Yes lefty-liberal feminists tend to be pro-choice, and right-wing religious types tend to lean the other way, but the issue runs much deeper than that. I’ve seen feminist blogs spawn tremendous debates, where hard-line feminists come out as Pro-life, I’ve also seen statements from Christians who believe in a right to choose. Not to mention the old adage of "you're only one unplanned teenage pregnant daughter away from being pro-choice". The fact that the subject has boiled down to two rigid points of view, which are then used as religious and political propaganda, is frankly insulting, unhelpful and detrimental to a grown-up discussion about the subject. Debates on cut-off point, emotional impact, funding, and the role of emergency contraception are all needed, but as it stands, cannot happen freely, as the pro-choice camp don’t want to be seen as being flaky or reactionary; and the Pro-lifers are scared that if they give an inch they’ll lose their battle. This reactionary squabble has prompted white male politicians into making incredulous statements about rape being God’s will and saving the unborn over the life of the mother. The subject has created a stalemate.

So why can’t we all discuss this sensibly? Because the subject is ‘icky’ and makes people really uncomfortable. By being pro-choice you are essentially fighting for a woman’s right to choose, however you find yourself basically fighting for abortion. You stop becoming pro-choice and you start becoming pro-abortion – you’re sticking up for it: ‘go abortion, woohoo!!’ Politically, when you fight for something you want or need, you have to become a champion for it: ‘free healthcare, woo!’ ‘Equal pay, fantastic!’ ‘The right to love and marry whoever you want! Yes please!’ ‘The right to terminate unwanted pregnancies through surgical procedure! Yeeeeh’... You see? It doesn’t sound good.

We pro-choice types believe a woman has a right to control over her body and her life, has a right to choose not to be a mother, to not have a child she can’t care for emotionally or financially, has a right not to carry her rapist or abuser’s baby and has a right to save her own life over that of her unborn child in the case of a medical emergency... what Pro-lifers hear is: 'We like killing babies! We love it. We want to go around with pitchforks and abort all babies. We don’t like cute little babies, we’re just plain evil like that.'

You may think I’m being dramatic but this is what it boils down to. I recently posted a story about a women’s right to choose on a forum and this is, verbatim (unfortunately) the reply I got from one woman:

Even with obama elected we still have hope in God that the unborn will get a vocie from the church!!!!! I am a Christian your wrong you are not a christain to which I am guessing no because you think it is ok to kill babies!!!!!! All I have to say is wow we all have our own opinions and if you cant respect that thence so be it but it is wrong your killing babies I don't think someone should have a choice to kill their baby and I strongly believe this and am willing to go down in a fight or anything I have to just so I can get my messenge out my God, my savior on high will work it out my hope is not in a man or president but in my savior Jesus! So I will leave it to you to do the right choose but that is what is right that's what I believe!!!!!!!!

Sigh. So you see, there it is. I personally go around, killing little babies with my bare hands because I am pro-choice. This seems ridiculous, but I actually had a bit of an out-of-body experience during this, frankly far-too long, debate with this woman – who actually hurt me more with her spelling and grammar than when she accused me of being a baby killer – and saw what she saw. To someone with a fundamental stance against abortion, anyone who is pro-choice is pro-abortion. And that is what I would like to clear up if we are going to carry on having these debates.

Pro-choice people don't like abortions. We would love to wake up in a world where they weren't necessary, a world where no woman would ever have to go through one again! Nothing would please us more. But until we wake up in a world free from sexual abuse, domestic violence, incest and rape that’s not going to happen. Until we wake up to a world where all women have free or cheap access to birth control and contraception services and adequate sex education that isn’t going to happen. Until we have a world where women have enough money to feed their children, have enough help and support to raise them and adequate health care for them then abortion is still necessary. Without legal, safe abortions women will die. Women may die from complications in childbirth, from botched backstreet or self-abortion, or from suicide.

This is also a world where actually, sometimes accidents and mistakes happen, and women should have the choice to not bring a child she doesn’t want or can care for into the world. Not to mention the instances where wanted pregnancies are terminated because a mother has learned that her baby’s quality of life is at risk if they are born. Mothers who love enough that they take that unimaginably hard decision should be praised and given the utmost care, not have scorn poured upon them.

Ironically, it seems that those pro-lifers who are politically right-wing and full of religious fervour, are those people who often want to deny women birth control; want to keep women poor and powerless, want to deny them free health care and not provide protection from them being abused. Ironically they cause more women to be in a position where abortion is the only way out. The old liberal feminists over here (hi) are trying to fight the system so that women are safe and empowered and cared for, resulting less of them finding themselves in a position where they need an abortion. It’s so ironic that Alanis Morisette should write a song about it.

I’m not going to further this with discussions about when life starts or foetuses being only potential life and ‘clumps of cells’ etc. I am not a doctor and staunch pro-lifers will only ever see foetuses as fully formed, flag waving, in-utero mini-citizens in knitted hats and booties. But I do say to them: if you want to stop abortions then stop preaching, and start promoting services and policy that will help women out of situations where they need them, and promote sex education and contraception. Fight against poverty and unaffordable health care, and understand that many women who have abortions do so out of love and compassion for existing life. Now that would REALLY be pro-life.

It's been a while...

My Dad passed away a couple of weeks ago, which has given me lots to think about but little time to write down my musings. Death is something I've had to deal with quite a bit of in my life, and while I get better at coping with the concept the older I get, it's something that provides endless thought and wondering about what life is all about...

I will no doubt go into more detail at a later date, but for the moment I want to share a poem I wrote after it happened and managed to read out at his funeral yesterday (getting over my fear of public speaking is something else that needs a further examination, but another time!)

I haven't written poetry for quite a while, but I'm hoping to write more in the future as I'd forgotten how cathartic it is... a bit like Tweeting, it's a good way of getting one's feelings down in a succinct way without being able to ramble. Anyway...


FOR DAD

We do not die.
Our vibrant spirit simply soars
to spread light,
to touch the new
connect to the old, and
become stars in the velvet night.

We do not die,
how can we?
when we live on each day
in thought, and memory.
Living a thousand new lives,
the hero of many tales
stored in the mind
like books read again, and again
by those left behind.

We do not die.
The codes have been written
into the spirals of every cell
of each new generation
seen in the faces of your children
known so well.

We do not die.
No.
We do not go!
Our finished bodies
become the earth
from which new flowers grow.

You did not die.
You have not really left us now.
We know the secret,
we know how
to keep you here in the hearts and minds
of everyone, the young and old
In every piece of sage advice
In every funny story told.

For now our hearts may break
And we may cry
But we shall not mourn for long
For you did not die.

Just one more race and I'll go to bed...

I’ll admit I was more than cynical about the Olympics. For starters I’m not a sports fan; the ADD mind rarely follows it, not to mention a smidge of 'brain over brawn' snobbery, and memories of being picked last for netball. I also saw obscene amounts of money being spent during a time where average people get overcome with apologetic guilt if they buy new shoes. I also get as nervous around times of patriotism and national pride as the next lefty-liberal, faintly embarrassed by the flag waving and whitewash of red white and blue, especially while the EDL prowl and their BNP cousins flood every news forum with their 'British pride'. Plus I take issue with the tax dodging, the usual corporate evil masterminding, the shiny logos and the McSponsorships - it all made me want to flee to a sunny beach with a stack of novels until it was over.

And yet, thanks in no small part to Danny Boyle beckoning me in with his selective retrospect of British history as a socialist, feminist, multicultural utopia – chucking in some Bowie, flying bicycles and a lesbian kiss to seal the deal – I am now officially hooked. From a benign game of badminton on the first day, to a whole Sunday morning dedicated to the women's cycling road race; my office, dining room and bedroom have slowly migrated to the sofa in front of the telly, as I have fallen into the dizzying first days of a slippery addiction...

Hello, I’m Emma and I’m an Olympaholic.

I cannot tear myself away. Not only has the action been exciting but I’ve found an interest in sports I barely knew existed before – synchronised diving, who knew? Kyaking! Not just the pursuit of backpackers with too much disposable income – and don't get me started on handball! However, for me, it is the human element that has been so inspiring and, in particular, the women. After reading a few jaded articles by grumbling feminists about how much men like to ogle the beach vollyballers – as if they’re shutting their eyes when the male divers come on, please – and how women don’t get as much kudos (or coinage) as the men, I would have to add a respectful 'but...'

The London 2012 Olympics has done wonders for the good name of feminism, if not by the games, then certainly by the players. From the suffragettes striding out while the captains of industry did their Hakka during the opening ceremony – apparently, afterwards they were spotted backstage afterwards kicking the shit out of Mitt Romney, but this has yet to be confirmed – to the fact that this is the first ever Olympics where every single country has at least one women representing, there's more than a whiff of progesterone in the air.

But even more than this, the thing that I really, really love about the Olympics is that they're giving us a smorgasbord of women role models that our young generation of girls have been starved of for so long. The plaintive cry of the modern feminist mum and teacher of ‘where are the positive role models for young British girls these days?!’ has been answered – they’re here. Here are bodies being judged on ability and hard work, not what shade of orange they’ve been painted; how many goals they score in football, not what footballer they’re married to, and how high they can jump and not how high their heels are.

And it’s not just the sporty element; these women have everything you need in a positive role model. Take Olympic cyclist Emma Pooley for example, did you know she went to Cambridge? That’s she’s studying for a PhD in Geotechnical Engineering in Zurich? Or that swimmer Gemma Spofforth is studying to be a children's counsellor and is also in training for climbing Everest?

And these female athletes are coming forward to say their bit for feminism. British weightlifter Zoe Smith gave the Youtube trolls a tongue lashing about their embarrassingly predictable digs about the teams’ physiques, whilst silver medalist Lizzie Armistead accompanied her triumphant speech with a call to end sexism in sport and in cycling in particular. Our first British gold was won by our female rowers; the GB women’s football team have yet to concede a goal and we’re not even half way through. For the first time ever it feels that women are as relevant as men in a major sporting event, even if on paper (and by that I mean money, exposure and interest) we still have a long way to go.

I’m hoping that the 2012 Olympics will show up in the history books as a bit of a triumph for women, and if I’m being pathetically optimistic (the games seem to have had that effect on me) I hope that these great women will stick around. It would be fantastic if the pages of women’s mags were filled with red circles highlighting hard-worked abs and cycle-honed legs rather than bad boobs and botched botox. Instead of tragic stories of failed romances and vodka binges, we heard the inspiring stories behind these athletes’ successes. And despite all this, I maintain there is nothing wrong with a bit of admiring perving as well. Now back to my sofa nest and the 200m breaststroke.